The Thrill and Beauty of Purity

I tuck my kids away at night and think about how boyish they are. I think about how the bath that night turned brown and mirky within seconds of them getting in, thanks to their grubby little faces and dirty little feet. I think about how my eldest stole birds’ eggs from the garden and got shouted at by some older person for his ignorance about nature conservation. I think about how my youngest built an amazing Lego piece that day. Something about all this makes you feel, “job well done,” as a parent. They’ve had a fun day of just being kids and just being boys and that means I’m doing my job right. They’re experiencing life and enjoying it.

Then I get on the news (I like reading the news once the boys have finally gotten to sleep) and I find that my sentiments and feelings about my boys being boys are apparently outdated and bigoted. They’re outdated in two ways. Firstly, I’m told that boys can be girls and girls can be boys, it’s all a matter of some social construct, and I’m a big idiot for thinking that gender isn’t something fluid. Then I’m told that real ‘boys being boys’ are those who sleep around and take what they want.

Then I do a little bit of research in theology (nothing relaxes me more than reading theology) about this topic, and most of what I find are blog posts on the Internet that are all about the evils of modern day sex and how we should tell our kids not to sleep with anyone before getting married. I agree with this sentiment. But I find it too negative. It’s not negative about sex – most of the Church teaches that sex is a wonderful thing, but only that it should be enjoyed within the ‘confines’ of marriage. But the very word ‘confines’ bugs me, because it immediately creates a negative impression.

I think I can find the problem and it’s this. All of our arguments and discussions about sex and sexuality today is really limited to only when to have sex, who to have it with, and how you should (prefer) to have it. Whether you come from a secular conservative or secular liberal perspective; or whether you come from a church perspective; it all seems to boil down to the same thing. But this is profoundly narrow. It’s missing something important in the equation: beauty.

Even though many church circles will speak loudly and proudly about how beautiful sex is, as long as it’s within marriage, the beauty of sexuality itself is often missing. And no matter how much the secular perspective claims to have an appreciation of the body and the beauty of sexuality, it completely botches this up with its constant support of pornography, it endless dribble about sex being a free-for-all, and its constant, never-ending politicising of sexuality. Gay people became a political commodity a decade ago. Transgenders have now become a political commodity. Trans-human philosophy is nothing else, really, than an opportunity for some or other political body to gain influence and power.

In an ongoing blog series, I am going to openly share my own current journey exploring this topic. My initial reason for this is because I want my children to grow up with a healthy view of themselves and others. I want them to be kind, loving, intelligent, gracious towards others, able to discern good from evil, and to always respect others. None of that is going to come by me teaching them that sex is a free-for-all. In fact, that’ll do the very opposite. None of that is going to come if I confuse them about why it is they look the way they look and feel the way they feel, and I tell them they might be a girl. None of that is going to come if I let them get dragged into being nothing but a political commodity. They’ll never be all they can be if they get dragged into the vicious pit of Internet pornography. I’ve got to help them navigate this world with grace.

Secondly, I’m all too aware of my own weaknesses. Recently I was ordained as a pastor at my church. I’m very sensitive to how so many pastors have been weak in this area, and how families and whole church communities are torn apart because a pastor had an affair (or several) or even almost had an affair. I’ve seen even heroes fall. If my heroes can fall, then surely I am in even bigger danger? So I want to guard my heart in this area and want to be faithful to my wife, to create a healthy family and healthy church community. But somehow I feel that what I presently know about this subject isn’t strong enough.

That’s because the majority of the teaching I’ve received, and the majority of churches out there, seem to only preach half the story. What we tend to do is try and get everyone to listen to reason, which is fair enough, except not far enough. For instance, we say it’s not a good idea to sleep with anyone before marriage because it’s the more level-headed thing to do. It means you don’t need to worry about STD’s or pregnancy. It’s much more emotionally and relationally safe. All this is quite true and in fact a watertight argument. Abstinence is pretty much a one hundred percent guarantee against unwanted pregnancy or STD’s. It makes much more relational sense to risk going into a marriage without having had sex than to risk going into it with having had sex. That whole deal about ‘seeing if you’re compatible’ is nonsense, and everyone – including its most loudest supporters – know the real problem is just their commitment issues.

But I think that most of us in the church have largely tried to stop people from over-indulging in sensuality by giving them a maths formula. In other words, we try and use some sort of rationalism to prevent them from peering into a mystery. Most people actually don’t jump into bed because it’s rational to do so, but precisely because it’s irrational. All the risk and adventure is far more attractive than the cold hard reality. Obviously, reality hits later, but in the heat of the moment, rational logic is not good enough. We are failing to show the mystery and excitement about purity – or rather, it’s more old-fashioned word, chastity.

Make no mistake, this is not about Purity Culture. In many ways, American Purity Culture has shot itself in the foot. Google Purity Culture and see what you find. Of course, you’re going to have to wade through a lot of liberal and feminist rants (and yes, there are a lot of rants). The No Shame Movement, which appears to work against Purity Culture, defines the idea as such:

Within the conservative Christian context, purity culture is simply the view of any discussion of things of a sexual nature outside of the context of heterosexual marriage as taboo.

However, neither Purity Culture or the No Shame Movement seem to get the point. Both of these limit the whole ordeal of purity to sex and sexuality, and fail to go much further or deeper than that. Purity in itself isn’t a word to describe merely sexual purity, which is why I seem to prefer the old-fashioned word of chastity a bit more. It has a history behind it, one that is theological and philosophical, and comes at things from a much more positive angle. There’s far more going on in this debate, philosophically and theologically, than just when you have sex, who you have it with, and what kind of sex you (should) prefer.

Which is why we need to explore the positive side of purity. It’s not just about a list of don’ts. It’s also not about the do’s. Purity not only affects sex but everything. We need to show how the pursuit of the pure, chaste life is actually a thrilling, exciting pursuit that leads to you becoming a more generous, well-rounded, kind, and down-to-earth, content, peaceful, and happy human being. We need to talk about how life itself can become more beautiful, more desirable, and more peaceful, through a simply commitment to purity.

That requires first for us to explore what purity means, because obviously it’s more than just when to have sex, who to have it with, and how to have it. Purity itself opens us up to the grand mystery of a deep, rumbling thunderstorm at night; of a gentle, cooling breeze on a hot day; of a soft, welcoming bed after a hard day’s work. I hope to uncover why in this series. I’ll be learning myself as we go along.

Photo by Greg Rakozy on Unsplash

118 thoughts on “The Thrill and Beauty of Purity”

  1. Thus, you’ll want to hire a company containing the most efffective
    organic SEO services to offer. The remaining Web Media Blocks
    correspond to the characteristics you hawve made for your
    setup. The first thing you have to do is identify a dropshipper that
    is certainly offerong wholesale jewellery.

  2. CAB 토토 사이트 홍보를 해 왔던 총판입니다.
    작년12월부터 총판 수익금 526만원을 못받아서
    이렇게 먹튀 사이트에 글을 올리게 됐습니다,
    홍보를 꾸준히 해 오다가 홍보 방법이 막혀서 사전에 CAB운영진의 양해를 구해서
    7-8개월동안 홍보방법을 찾기위해 홍보를 못했습니다,
    그러다 올해 5월부터 홍보방법을 찾아서 홍보를 하다가
    도메인이 유해 사이트로 떠서 새로운 도메인 셋팅을 해 달라고 부탁드렸더니
    충분히 기다릴만큼 기다렸다고 도메인 셋팅을 안해주더군요,,
    홍보 준비하는 기간동안에 수익금은 500만원이 넘어 있었고,나는 정산금보다
    홍보를 계속하고 싶었는데,
    갑자기 도메인 셋팅을 안해준다고 하니,,,황당하더군요
    그래서 도메인 셋팅 안 해 줄거면 정산금을 정산해 달라고 햇더니
    “6개월반이나 기다려 아무성과가 없어서 정산금을 못주겟다네요,,
    그래도 5월에는 많지는 않지만 10여명정도 가입이 있었고,이제 어느정도 효과를 볼려고
    하는데
    정산금 주기 싫어서 같이 일을 못하겟다고 하니,,,이게 먹튀가 아니고 뭔가요?
    내가 이렇게 글을 올리는것도 사전에 CAB운영진에 미리 얘기를 드렸고,마음대로 하라고 하면서
    관리자 비번과 텔레그램까지 차단했고,CAB 사이트에 자세히 알아보니,일반 유저 먹튀도 여러건 발견되어
    이대로 나두면 안되겠다는 생각이 들어 이렇게 글을 올립니다.
    일단 저와 제가 아는 동생이 CAB에서 놀았던 입금 계좌를 경찰에 아는분한테 제출을 할겁니다.
    지금 CAB을 이용하고 계신분이나 이용하실분들은 나중에 통장 계좌가 노출되어 경찰 조사를 받는일이
    없도록 CAB토토사이트 이용을 자제해 주시기 바랍니다,
    그리고 CAB토토 사이트도 상황이 복잡해지면 일반유저 먹튀도 예상되니까,
    가능하면 다른 사이트 이용을 부탁드립니다!!

  3. [url=http://zywulynulese.ml/]sumycin[/url] [url=http://edilotet.tk/]strattera[/url] [url=http://faxudahadulo.tk/]buy generic celexa[/url] [url=http://kyfesixa.tk/]cheap actos[/url] [url=http://ucogesik.tk/]baclofen medication[/url] [url=http://efazilukab.tk/]finpecia online[/url] [url=http://zykenudyto.tk/]robaxin cost[/url] [url=http://tasotavigyzy.tk/]generic himcolin[/url] [url=http://yjuvipojel.tk/]buy acyclovir[/url]

  4. [url=http://oxafyruvax.ml/]omnicef for strep throat[/url] [url=http://pelefuvucyqi.ga/]generic cialis[/url] [url=http://ybosyxihos.tk/]price of metformin without insurance[/url] [url=http://ebytehiwylij.gq/]indocin 50 mg tablets[/url] [url=http://eceramypucyb.tk/]citalopram cost[/url] [url=http://bexodidevo.tk/]how much is strattera[/url] [url=http://bezamelala.tk/]fml forte[/url] [url=http://zosofowy.tk/]digoxin[/url] [url=http://ykupugekuwun.ml/]chloromycetin without prescription[/url] [url=http://qefowekixudi.tk/]metformin for sale[/url] [url=http://vujasyposy.gq/]reglan migraines[/url] [url=http://zelavowiwune.tk/]buy kemadrin[/url] [url=http://texehijuti.tk/]diovan for blood pressure[/url] [url=http://cusogerihe.tk/]plendil generic[/url] [url=http://upyqivizocad.tk/]buy actos[/url] [url=http://anijobytobob.tk/]uroxatral[/url] [url=http://yzepiwequn.ga/]isoniazid[/url]

  5. [url=https://paxil10.com/]generic paxil[/url] [url=https://dapoxetine90.com/]where to buy dapoxetine[/url] [url=https://doxycycline24.com/]buy doxycycline[/url] [url=https://cephalexin5.com/]keflex generic[/url] [url=https://tadacip365.com/]tadacip 20mg[/url] [url=https://indocin25.com/]buy indocin[/url] [url=https://estrace1.com/]estrace tablets[/url] [url=https://prednisone60.com/]prednisone 20mg[/url] [url=https://cialis25.com/]cialis generic best price[/url] [url=https://vardenafil10.com/]buy vardenafil cheap[/url] [url=https://sildenafil911.com/]buy sildenafil citrate[/url] [url=https://kamagra2019.com/]kamagra gel oral[/url] [url=https://fluoxetine911.com/]fluoxetine hcl 20 mg capsules[/url] [url=https://cipro1000.com/]buy cipro online[/url] [url=https://nolvadex20.com/]buy nolvadex[/url] [url=https://tadalafil2019.com/]tadalafil 20 mg[/url] [url=https://colchicine5.com/]buy colchicine[/url] [url=https://proscar40.com/]generic proscar[/url] [url=https://azithromycin1.com/]azithromycin[/url] [url=https://albuterol9.com/]albuterol[/url]

  6. [url=http://albuterol9.com/]cost of albuterol[/url] [url=http://colchicine5.com/]colchicine 0.6 mg tablets[/url] [url=http://kamagra2019.com/]kamagra tablets[/url] [url=http://paxil10.com/]paxil[/url] [url=http://indocin25.com/]buy indocin[/url] [url=http://advair100.com/]advair[/url] [url=http://viagra150.com/]buy generic viagra[/url] [url=http://doxycycline24.com/]doxycycline 100 mg forsale outside the us[/url] [url=http://cialis25.com/]cialis[/url] [url=http://azithromycin1.com/]azithromycin tablets[/url]

  7. [url=http://dapoxetine2.com/]where to buy dapoxetine[/url] [url=http://tadalafil4.com/]cost of tadalafil[/url] [url=http://cialis2019.com/]generic cialis online[/url] [url=http://arimidex911.com/]arimidex[/url] [url=http://prednisone1.com/]prednisone[/url] [url=http://fluoxetine50.com/]fluoxetine 30 mg[/url] [url=http://elimite1.com/]elimite[/url] [url=http://azithromycin5.com/]azithromycin 250 mg tablets[/url] [url=http://propecia365.com/]propecia generic 1mg[/url] [url=http://kamagra911.com/]kamagra jelly usa[/url]

  8. [url=http://doxycycline365.com/]doxycycline[/url] [url=http://cialis2.com/]buy discount cialis[/url] [url=http://propecia2.com/]propecia minoxidil[/url] [url=http://prednisone24.com/]prednisone 20 mg without prescription[/url] [url=http://cialis2019.com/]cialis[/url] [url=http://prednisone1.com/]buy prednisone without prescription[/url] [url=http://cipro5.com/]buy cipro without rx[/url] [url=http://clomid24.com/]clomid buy[/url] [url=http://propecia365.com/]cheap propecia[/url] [url=http://lisinopril24.com/]lisinopril[/url]

  9. [url=http://propecia365.com/]cheapest propecia online[/url] [url=http://azithromycin5.com/]azithromycin 250 mg tablets[/url] [url=http://sildenafil250.com/]buy sildenafil[/url] [url=http://fluoxetine24.com/]fluoxetine hcl 10mg[/url] [url=http://prednisone24.com/]prednisone 20 mg[/url] [url=http://allopurinol911.com/]allopurinol[/url] [url=http://propecia2.com/]propecia[/url] [url=http://doxycycline365.com/]100 mg doxycycline[/url] [url=http://tadalafil500.com/]tadalafil tablets 20mg[/url] [url=http://elimite1.com/]elimite[/url]

  10. [url=http://tadalafil500.com/]tadalafil[/url] [url=http://lisinopril24.com/]lisinopril tabs[/url] [url=http://prednisone24.com/]buy prednisone[/url] [url=http://proscar2019.com/]proscar[/url] [url=http://propecia365.com/]propecia[/url] [url=http://propecia2.com/]buy propecia finasteride[/url] [url=http://cipro5.com/]cipro[/url] [url=http://dapoxetine2.com/]dapoxetine online[/url] [url=http://doxycycline365.com/]doxycycline monohydrate[/url] [url=http://kamagra911.com/]buy kamagra online[/url]

  11. [url=https://luck999.net]카지노사이트[/url]
    [url=http://bacara999.com]바카라사이트[/url]
    [url=http://eunha69.com]sexy[/url]
    [url=http://sarangtv.com]sex videos[/url]

  12. [url=http://diflucan50.com/]order cheap diflucan online[/url] [url=http://propecia3.com/]propecia[/url] [url=http://atarax1.com/]50 mg atarax[/url] [url=http://zithromax100.com/]zithromax[/url] [url=http://tadalafil3.com/]cheap tadalafil[/url] [url=http://viagra2019.com/]viagra[/url] [url=http://levitra2.com/]levitra best price[/url] [url=http://lexxapro.com/]buy lexapro without a prescription online[/url] [url=http://sildenafil120.com/]sildenafil[/url] [url=http://estrace2.com/]estrace[/url]

  13. [url=http://diflucan50.com/]buy diflucan no prescription[/url] [url=http://sildenafil120.com/]sildenafil citrate[/url] [url=http://elimite3.com/]elimite[/url] [url=http://tadalafil3.com/]tadalafil[/url] [url=http://viagra4.com/]viagra for sale online[/url] [url=http://retina05.com/]cost of retin a[/url] [url=http://cipro750.com/]where can i buy cipro online[/url] [url=http://propecia911.com/]cheap propecia pills[/url] [url=http://atarax1.com/]atarax 50 mg[/url] [url=http://propecia3.com/]propecia[/url]

  14. [url=https://levitra2.com/]levitra[/url] [url=https://cipro750.com/]buy cipro on line[/url] [url=https://levitra365.com/]viagra levitra[/url] [url=https://tadalafil3.com/]tadalafil 20mg[/url] [url=https://doxycycline911.com/]doxycycline[/url] [url=https://atarax1.com/]atarax[/url] [url=https://propecia911.com/]cheap propecia canada[/url] [url=https://lexxapro.com/]lexapro pills[/url] [url=https://sildenafil120.com/]sildenafil citrate 100mg tab[/url] [url=https://retina05.com/]buy retin a no prescription[/url] [url=https://propecia3.com/]propecia generic[/url] [url=https://sildenafil0.com/]purchase sildenafil citrate 100mg[/url] [url=https://elimite3.com/]elimite[/url] [url=https://arimidex365.com/]order arimidex online[/url] [url=https://prednisone0.com/]predisone with no presciption[/url] [url=https://cephalexin1.com/]cephalexin 500mg[/url] [url=https://viagra4.com/]blue pill viagra[/url] [url=https://atenolol1.com/]atenolol 50 mg tab[/url] [url=https://lisinopril365.com/]lisinopril[/url] [url=https://strattera25.com/]atomoxetine[/url]

  15. [url=http://cephalexin1.com/]cephalexin 500 mg capsules[/url] [url=http://sildenafil0.com/]sildenafil[/url] [url=http://atarax1.com/]atarax[/url] [url=http://retina05.com/]retin-a micro gel[/url] [url=http://sildenafil120.com/]sildenafil[/url] [url=http://strattera25.com/]atomoxetine strattera[/url] [url=http://tadalafil3.com/]generic tadalafil from india[/url] [url=http://elimite3.com/]elimite[/url] [url=http://prednisone0.com/]buy prednisone[/url] [url=http://tretinoin05.com/]tretinoin cream[/url]

  16. [url=http://fluoxetine1.com/]fluoxetine 20 mg capsule[/url] [url=http://hydrochlorothiazide2019.com/]hydrochlorothiazide 25 mg discount[/url] [url=http://levitra7.com/]levitra[/url] [url=http://propecia360.com/]propecia[/url] [url=http://zithromax24.com/]zithromax[/url] [url=http://dapoxetine1.com/]dapoxetine[/url] [url=http://lisinopril911.com/]lisinopril[/url] [url=http://arimidex24.com/]buy arimidex[/url] [url=http://diflucan24.com/]diflucan 150mg tab[/url] [url=http://viagra101.com/]over the counter viagra[/url]

  17. [url=http://dapoxetine2019.com/]dapoxetine[/url] [url=http://eccutane.com/]buy accutane online[/url] [url=http://propecia10.com/]generic propecia[/url] [url=http://proscar911.com/]proscar[/url] [url=http://lexapr0.com/]lexapro[/url] [url=http://advair24.com/]advair 250 50 mcg[/url] [url=http://wellbutrin1.com/]wellbutrin 20mg[/url] [url=http://avodart5.com/]buy avodart online[/url] [url=http://accutanisotretinoin.com/]where can i get accutane uk[/url] [url=http://sildenafil3.com/]generic sildenafil cost[/url]

  18. [url=https://proscar24.com/]buy generic proscar[/url] [url=https://strattera24.com/]strattera[/url] [url=https://levitra7.com/]levitra[/url] [url=https://lisinopril1.com/]lisinopril 10[/url] [url=https://advair24.com/]advair[/url] [url=https://dapoxetine1.com/]dapoxetine 30[/url] [url=https://viagra0.com/]over the counter viagra where to buy usa[/url] [url=https://viagrasoft24.com/]viagra soft[/url] [url=https://levitra19.com/]buy levitra online[/url] [url=https://arimidex24.com/]arimidex buy usa[/url] [url=https://accutanisotretinoin.com/]accutane online without prescription[/url] [url=https://clomid2019.com/]buy cheap clomid pills[/url] [url=https://aqutane.com/]estrace[/url] [url=https://viagra48.com/]viagra[/url] [url=https://cialis360.com/]order cialis[/url] [url=https://lexapr0.com/]generic lexapro canada[/url] [url=https://colchicine24.com/]colchicine medication[/url] [url=https://eccutane.com/]how much is accutane[/url] [url=https://tretinoin1.com/]tretinoin 1[/url] [url=https://diflucan24.com/]diflucan 150[/url]

  19. [url=http://dapoxetine1.com/]dapoxetine[/url] [url=http://arimidex24.com/]arimidex[/url] [url=http://retina911.com/]retin a[/url] [url=http://cialis1000.com/]cialis daily south africa[/url] [url=http://colchicine24.com/]colchicine price[/url] [url=http://lisinopril911.com/]lisinopril cost canada[/url] [url=http://viagra0.com/]order viagra online[/url] [url=http://fluoxetine1.com/]fluoxetine 20 mg online[/url] [url=http://levitra7.com/]best price levitra 20 mg[/url] [url=http://viagrasoft24.com/]generic viagra soft tabs[/url]

  20. [url=http://colchicine24.com/]colchicine[/url] [url=http://robaxin1.com/]robaxin 750 mg[/url] [url=http://cialis1000.com/]cialis 5mg best price india[/url] [url=http://propecia10.com/]propecia[/url] [url=http://strattera24.com/]strattera 40mg cap[/url] [url=http://wellbutrin1.com/]wellbutrin online australia[/url] [url=http://proscar24.com/]generic proscar online[/url] [url=http://estrace2019.com/]buy estrace in mexico[/url] [url=http://levitra7.com/]levitra price in singapore[/url] [url=http://proscar911.com/]proscar[/url]

  21. [url=http://lasix911.com/]buy lasix online no prescription[/url] [url=http://prednisolone10.com/]prednisolone[/url] [url=http://metformin850.com/]metformin 850[/url] [url=http://atenolol50mg.com/]atenolol[/url] [url=http://ventolin100.com/]ventolin[/url] [url=http://lipitor20.com/]lipitor pfizer[/url] [url=http://ventolinhfainhaler.com/]generic ventolin[/url] [url=http://motilium10mg.com/]motilium[/url] [url=http://clomidforwomen.com/]clomid[/url] [url=http://prednisone1.com/]buy prednisone no prescription[/url]

Leave a Reply to LisaHoume Cancel Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Scroll to Top